Caulfield's - Motivations in life

I looked back at my old appointments and conversations I had with Holden. The part that I really think was special was to Holden when it was about to rain and he's with Phoebe that time, "Then all of a sudden she gave a kiss. Then what she did, she reached in my coat pocket and took out my red hunting hat and put it on my head" (pg.212). If it was me in the situation, I would have gotten chills too and most of all, feel so special that a little kid, like Phoebe cares  about me being wet under the rain and becoming sick. Holden may have times when he's so down then decides to do certain things and doesn't even look forward for the possible outcomes of it, but when Phoebe or Jane is around, he feels fulfilled. He feels confident about himself knowing somebody supports him and looks forward to his missions.

One time, when Holden and I saw each other in the hallway to my office, he told me about staying for a couple hours at Mr. Antolini's house after visiting Phoebe during the night. "Mr. Antolini was very nice. He said I could come right over if I wanted to. The first thing he asked me was if anything was wrong, and I said no"(pg.174). Holden told me that he felt important, in a way. Mr. Antolini and Holden talked and catched up with each other. "So you and Pencey are no longer one," Mr. Antolini said to him. Holden admitted, "Sometimes, it amused me a lot and sometimes it didn't. He sort of did a little bit too much... D.B. does it too much sometimes, too" (pg. 182). Holden felt degraded and felt like he was insulted. There are certain times these people can hurt someone's feelings without knowing it. For instance, Mr. Antolini is a close friend of Holden, he may joke around Holden if he wishes, but of course, he also needs to stop and know his boundaries. But sometimes, it's just that Holden isn't in the mood to joke around, too.

Sadly, his experience didn't went so well in Mr. Antolini's house, he woke up all of a sudden feeling Mr. Antolini's hand petting him on the head, which made him leave. He felt weird, he was asking me too, if that's normal for a person to do that and I told him how in situations, certain things can happen and sometimes it can be normal but in some cases, not. He also said that, "I mean I wondered if just maybe I was wrong about thinking he was making a flitty pass at me"(pg.194). He somehow felt bad, but his decision seemed right; he wouldn't be able to sleep in there anyways, since it will just bug his mind about what has happened in there. "I wondered what he'd told Mrs. Antolini when she saw I hadn't slept there or anything" (pg.194). Holden didn't want to make people feel bad. He's still actually concerned about them, but technically, it isn't his fault why he left. Holden has control of his actions; but he didn't meant to disappoint Mrs. Antolini if she ever finds out he left because of what happened. Holden is more than aware of everything he is responsible for and all the things values of these thing that plays as a very significant part of himself. Just a little consideration and care from others, Holden would be so much grateful to live everyday possible.